Thursday, March 21, 2013

An Outside Observer's Perspective

I said before I'd be making my last post about Bone the Fish a while ago, and I truly thought that was it. Unfortunately, a friend of mine wanted to check out what all of the "drama" was about. Why, I don't know. I first told him to just browse the site (with the added little sort of rule "stay away from my entry for now"), and though he was enjoying himself for a short while, he was finding he disliked a very present mentality in a couple of users. He then noticed it was actually pretty widespread as he kept browsing, and said that if they were the people commenting the most or even running the site, he'd rather not join at all because a large portion of what the users had said was completely ridiculous and even awful.

He then decided to read my posts on the issue. He told me, even with my blunders and any embarrassing quips, that, in the end, I did a good enough job at making my point and definitely drove it home, maybe even a little more than I had to. He understood why I made each post, and even supports what I say. I didn't even expect that, because I was thinking he would be impartial on the issue and pick at me as well (he usually would). He even said, in essence, "I'm not being biased here. You're pretty much right, those guys just suck."

Shortly after reading the entry Bone the Fish had on me, he asked if I had read anything about me since the last post or even looked back at all, and I said I hadn't; I didn't care and figured that it would be what I'd expect: cromagnon-level ad hominems, misinformation, not admitting any sort of wrong whatsoever, etc. He said I was pretty much right, and that PYRulz was particularly hilarious considering he went to such great lengths to show me how much he didn't care (like I care about his lack of caring). However, there was one post that he thought was just so completely deplorable that he wanted to point it out to me, and oddly enough, it was made by someone named Soggy9000 who he said wasn't like the other guys, and even criticized them for the same things I noted in my blog. I did indeed find that tidbit strange, so I decided I'd check it out (ignoring the other posts made considering the confirmation from my friend) with my friend's warning of, "it may hurt you; hell, it hurt me." Here's the post he made:

"Just visited the blog for the first time. I think that makes me Visitor #17 since she started the thing a couple of years ago. (She has exactly two "followers" as I write this, which is just sad.) You know, this is why I live in fear that someone will ask me why I don't become the 97,000,000th person on Planet Earth to start a blog. They may as well tell me: "Soggy, it must really suck to have no friends and only a marginal life." Here's the basic formula: You write a bunch of bitter shit about how misunderstood/unappreciated you are, burp out a few painfully lightweight album or movie reviews from time to time, strike a self-indulgent (not to mention self-delusional) little pose as an oh-so-world-weary philosopher/intellectual, chronicle the latest who-cares events in your nobody life - or perhaps the latest cute trick you taught your cat - as if anybody (besides those two followers) gives the first shit about any of it, and then shake your little fist at an established site with a thousand-plus members - that would of course be BTF - for allowing a few of its feistier personalities to tease you on its boards. If I were ever to announce my intention to start a blog, I would fully expect people to shake their heads in concern and tell me: "Ohh, you poor man." At least ninety percent of blogs are melancholy places like this one; essentially a lonely person talking to an empty room. (This is true of ninety percent of self-published books too.) I'd sooner blow my brains out than start a blog. Besides, I am under no illusion that I have any thoughts of such originality or profundity that THEY MUST BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD."

I will admit that I wasn't not hurt at all, but I wasn't even close to tears like my friend expected. Just a very small sinking feeling in my gut was all. But I can see why he made his warning. It's an overly vicious attack for even those who would be deserving of such criticism, let alone someone like myself who made legitimate points and is a damn nice person to boot (my girlfriend wouldn't be with me if that weren't the case, and she has told me so several times, so it's not my ego talking). The only thing I can personally understand is the "most blogs are shit" point of view. I would've expected that one either way. I didn't want to reply because I just thought, "well, this guy's obviously a major asshole," and wanted to move on, but my friend wanted to say something, and not on the Bone the Fish site since he knows the people there are unsavory. I wanted to abstain from doing such, but he insisted he do it on this blog. I suppose if he wants to so much, he can go right ahead. So here he is:

"First off, Soggy9000, I don't care whether you read this or not. I know you not reading this post can defeat the purpose of any sort of reply, but this was definitely such a deplorable post you made that I felt the need to say something to avenge my friend here. Without getting into detail, I'll just say that I owe her and her family a lot.

And I'd like to say I understand you have no interest in blogs such as this (but then I must wonder why you bothered to read). I don't normally do so, either, unless it's family or maybe important friends such as Redhead Metalhead; her blog is much the same way, though even if she didn't have family and friends reading it, she's fine just putting down whatever thoughts she has, much like I'm doing here.

Otherwise, I find your criticism quite unfair and far too, and Redhead Metalhead picked the perfect word, vicious, even though you still used lame insults in between. Whether you care about your intense rudeness or not is not of any of my concern despite my own rudeness in the lack of consideration. This should not be considered unfair in light of your assessments.

Most of this viciousness, of course, is in your just-as-painful-to-read run-on sentence of doom, which was a altogether unfair generalized criticism in itself besides the distasteful taunts. What do you expect from a typical journal-style piece? High art? If so, I'd love to see how high you can go. But hey, I would assume not . . . so then why the brutal attack? Because you can? Sure, you can, but where's the real justification? Do you realize you seem extremely upset over someone's personal playground, especially considering she never attacked you (from what I could tell, you hadn't even been around by the time Redhead Metalhead made her posts)? Do you have issues of your own? If so, hell, feel free to post them. We'll sympathize. After all, the only way for sympathy to stay alive is to ensure it's mutual.

But the real problem is you don't even know who she is. This blog gives you some general details, sure, but you don't actually know that much about her even if you read every single post here (so, yes, indeed you are misunderstanding her, but that's obviously to be expected of anyone you don't know, and yet that is absolutely not her intention). The detail about her father being in prison wasn't even released until after this post was made, and that alone says a lot, and there's a big story behind that (which I won't get into; if Redhead Metalhead decides to, that's when you can read about it, and she said she might reveal that in her final post). I even found it silly that you pointed talked about her having cats (or at least teaching them tricks) when she's allergic to them. Small thing to pick on, sure, but it helps show you didn't really assess the blog as well as you thought.

But if you want me to get into the big details that matter, I don't see why she isn't intelligent or even delusional. The things that sound silly on this blog are just opinions; not that I haven't seen anything false, but most of what she posts besides opinion is indeed factual and even generally well-typed, like the posts about what feminism and liberalism and conservatism are. Even the posts that seem like they don't provide insight actually do if you think about an issue enough. Then again, considering how vicious the attack is, I can't help but think you're merely just making an attack regardless of how smart she actually is; after all, to expect someone to be more intelligent than her, from how much more I know of her than you, is ultimately unrealistic (and keep in mind, intelligence is not measured by merely one or even two things).

And lastly, she doesn't care about popularity. She learned a hell of a lot about that whole issue in school, which she has gone into some detail about. Keep that in mind while considering these posts about Bone the Fish, or, actually, some of it's users. I suppose, considering the constant comments and misinformation on this, I must reiterate that she (nor I) is not even against the concept of a site like this, because she actually finds the idea kind of fun. She even thought about joining and posting until she noticed the trend that even both you and I noticed (though for the sake of correct information, you did not note that any political debate or commentary was mainly one-sided, though even I must admit it definitely was, especially considering the little circle-jerking action I saw in the "Bone the Fish" topic on their site).

I just wanted to get that all off of my chest, because it shook me to the core at least a little bit considering how awful your post is, and Internet posts rarely ever do that to me, so that's an accomplishment you can add to your list, as if it's an accomplishment worth having (couldn't get Redhead Metalhead, tough break). If that is an accomplishment for you, it definitely shows you have a shitty life indeed for needing to get your rocks off in cyberspace, but unlike you, I won't judge.

That's all I have to say.

. . . At least to Soggy9000. As a last note, I wanted to point out that, in the "BTF - In the News" area (in the "Friends of BTF" link), it lists "Red Head Metal Head" and next to that "Blog Critical of BTF". If indeed these people she criticized are those who help run the site, this is yet another awful showing of misinformation, possibly even deliberate. I have already touched on why that is the case."

I suppose I should thank my friend for wanting to do that, though I will note, not to put him down but just for record, that it wasn't necessary. I otherwise would not have even made this post and would have left everything alone. I don't really feel it accomplishes anything other than making my friend feel better, which I thought was purpose enough to do this. But either way, I'm definitely done with this bullshit. I wanted to be even after reading that stupid comment of Soggy9000's, but now I'm definitely finished. If my friend wants to comment again, that shit can be taken elsewhere somehow.

I suppose I can end this post now, but I do want to touch on one minor issue that has popped up for a short while before I forget yet again. I am absolutely not posting any pictures of myself or any members of my family, and you won't find pictures of any of them online, either. The best chance you have of finding pictures of anyone in my family online is my cousin, and that's only because of how many relationships she has been in; she has not posted pictures of herself online. Not that you'd be able to find her considering none of you, besides those who actually know her, know what she looks like, but I digress.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

My Cousin (Part 2)

Now that you know a bit about my cousin's sex life, and how she seems like quite a deviant, I shall now impart upon you all the fact that my cousin is actually a great person. She is, in fact, one of my largest inspirations, and that's because she helped take care of me. I'd even go as far as saying she practically raised me.

See, both of my parents worked, because that's one of the things they valued most in life. That meant that they needed someone to babysit me after school, and the only person capable (besides my wife's family) was my cousin. My cousin and her family were the only relatives close by, and my cousin loved helping take care of me when I was a baby as well, so they figured she'd be the one to do it. In fact, when I was a baby, I was real fussy and she was one of the few people who could calm me down. Of course, when I had to be taken home and left her arms, I would apparently get fussy again.

That was how it was throughout my life as well. She was one of the few who could cheer me up if I wasn't happy, because I knew she loved me and cared about me. Whenever I'd be teased at school, and she happened to be around, she defended me. Even on my very first day of school when I was nervous and confused and upset, and saw her pass by in the hallway, she went out of her way to come give me a great big hug. She was running late for class, but she cared more about how I felt than her work, which was such a disconnect to the attitude of my parents.

Usually when we were together, it would usually be at her place, but we'd go out occasionally and do  something like go to restaurants and arcades, or even just to walk around check out the sites. My wife would tag along fairly often, and we'd occasionally see a friend of my cousin's, but even if that happened, my cousin and I would just continue to do what we wanted to by ourselves. But the arcade was our usual place to hang out if we went outside anywhere. We even beat a few games, which sometimes attracted an audience. In fact, we were the first to ever beat House of the Dead of everyone who played it in that arcade, which we did together (I even remember my wife was out of town at the time visiting extended family). Took quite a few quarters, but it was worth it. The arcade closed down and turned into a restaurant,but at least that restaurant is a pizza place with a couple of the old arcade games still there (the ones that still worked anyway; most of them had broken down or were faulty, even House of the Dead).

My cousin and I were able to do all of that game-playing thanks to the jobs she had late in her high school years, which she mostly had during the summer, but still kept a couple during the school year and just went to them maybe a day or two a week for at least a few hours. One of her favorite job around that period, despite still hating some things about it, was working at FuncoLand during her senior year back when that still existed (it's now GameStop, go figure). She even got to see that crazy training video they made, which I'm posting that has funny commentary added by its uploader, ChipCheezum.

My cousin, after watching that, thought back to her initial viewing and mentioned she even had a couple of similar thoughts back then, like the system cleaning and the overall strangeness (like how close the boss guy's face got to the camera and his make-up). It turned out, though, that her particular store didn't seem to push system cleaning as much, maybe only when selling a system and even then didn't worry about it a whole lot. But thanks to her working there, we even were able to rent games easier and got some deals and such. She suspected the whole time, even before being hired, that she was hired (or would be hired) mainly because she's attractive. No women were working there at the time, and that store was looking for someone to fill that void. My cousin was who they found. I couldn't go there while she was working there too often, but my wife's family sometimes would stop by while doing some things so we could chat for a few whenever we did. Whenever we would I'd sometimes get to witness my cousin's work there, and she was generally pretty good, but she liked to crack jokes (she got in trouble a couple of times for that) and sometimes would even be more honest than her superiors would've wanted her to be because my cousin always felt bad about ripping customers off, which eventually led to her being fired despite bringing in more customers that way. The employers who hired her later realized that and hired her mainly for that reason, so that ultimately worked out for her.

She didn't even need to work around those times, though. She just did it so she and I and my wife could do certain fun things together, and the experiences helped her out later on in life anyway. Even then, she didn't want to work too much, since she treasured her time with me and knew I did, too. That was ultimately more important to her, but I'm sure you readers get that by now.

But we both spent a good deal of time indoors as well, and we mostly spent that time by either playing games and reading together and helping me through my homework, or we'd sometimes even do our own things, like she'd go somewhere else to watch a show she really liked, like The X-Files, or have private time with her lover or something like that, and I'd play games elsewhere or read elsewhere. Despite being around her and influenced by her and all, we did have some differing interests; for instance, at the time, I didn't care for The X-Files because it didn't completely make sense to me back then and kind of bored me because of that.

Anyway, I didn't mind being separated from her sometimes, because as much as I loved her and wanted to hang around her a lot, I enjoyed my own privacy and otherwise wouldn't have been able to do my own things, too. My cousin realized having my own independence was important in growing up anyway, so sometimes she'd even request that I go outside or play somewhere else or go over to my wife's house or something like that, and it wasn't to be mean at all or anything like that. She just knew growing up as a child with various influences and stimuli was important. However, though it was rare, she would sometimes scold me, but unlike whenever my parents did it to me, she almost always made some kind of sense and later apologized to me when it didn't, which was so rare that I think it may not have happened more than once or twice. I remember there was only one time when she did agree with my parents about a time I was grounded and therefore grounded me from using her game systems and such whenever I'd come over; got screwed out of playing a certain game she rented for a long time because of that, too, but I got over it. Otherwise, she'd let me do our usual thing if my parents grounded me and I happened to be over there, like if I was grounded for swearing (we both swore a lot, even when I was younger than ten, which is silly but kind of cool looking back), or if I got too frisky with my wife back then (she prevented that, too, but didn't agree with a grounding, she thought it was too extreme; she just stopped us).

I'm sure I'm boring most everyone who reads this, but this has all been extremely important in my life, so that's why I'm going over this in detail like I am. I suppose I may have said enough for now, though. This should paint a better picture of who my cousin is, a laid-back, caring person well worth being around,a nd I feel incredibly lucky to have grown up around her. If not for her, I certainly would not be where I'm at today, which is happy with my whole family and with what I've done throughout my life. So, to my cousin, I can't thank you enough, but I suppose you are just content with my happiness thanks to your deeds.

I will certainly be sad whenever she leaves, and to demonstrate that, I will tell of the time she left town with her wife to get eventually get married. My wife and I roomed together in a dorm, and we were just starting out, standing outside of our dorm with my cousin and her wife as they were about to leave. They stopped by to say goodbye and then take off. As much as I bawled and didn't want her to leave, I understood. And being the person she is, she even had to be humorous in that unbearably sad situation by saying something along the lines of, "Damn, if you're this sad with me moving away, I'd hate to see you after I die." Not the funniest thing for her to say, but it did make me chuckle and I smiled some after that before crying again as they finally took off. I later even requested to skip classes that day because the event was so devastating to me, which most of the teachers were fine with (one obliged but wasn't completely happy about that despite still getting my work done anyway). For a while after that, neither my cousin or I talked for a while, partially because we lost information, but also because I was afraid to for some odd reason. I think it was because I'm not the type who likes to break the mold and get upset when I do sometimes (like I did when revealing my lesbian nature to my wife for the first time back in Kindergarten), but once we first called each other, we both felt much better about ourselves, and she even admitted to crying in the car while driving away, so I suppose it's hard for her to not be around me, too. I guess we both influenced each other in a great way, and I'm proud of that. So once again, cousin... thank you.